Monthly Archives: January 2015

Say Yes to the Mess

FREE man in messy roomAre you a “Neat Freak” or a “Messy Bessie” in your grief?  When losses occur in your life (due to death, loss of good health, job loss, relationship break-ups, financial struggles, etc.) do you expect your response (i.e. grief) to be orderly and predictable or do you immerse yourself in the chaos of grief?

Neat Freaks expect grief to follow a certain path.  They cling to “stage theories” of grief such as Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of dying (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance).  They believe this is a road map to a sequential order of grief (even though these stages were never really meant to be stages of grief).  They are convinced that if they deviate from this plan then they are not grieving normally or are stuck in denial.

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Resolve to Grieve?

FREE Happy New YearHow about this for a New Year’s resolution, “I promise to grieve well.”   Maybe you never considered such a resolution, but it’s a great way to start a new year because grieving well is the key to living well.

The problem is that we are never taught how to grieve well.  We often stumble along when a loss occurs, not really sure if we are grieving “right,” or if our loss even warrants grief.

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