March Sadness

FREE flowers poking through snow_purple crocusGrief is like the month of March.  You never know what to expect from March in New England.  One day it’s snowing with blizzard-like conditions and the next day it’s sunny and 70 degrees.  It is a month of surprises.

We never know what to expect from our grief either Our grief is unique.  It doesn’t look like anyone else’s.  There’s no set order or stages to our grief.  One day we feel like we are handling everything quite well and the next day we feel so sad and distraught that we wonder if we will ever feel “normal” again.

Even years after a loss we can experience a trigger moment that brings dark clouds to our sunny day.  It may be an expected trigger (i.e. birthday or holiday) or it may be unexpected such as a memory flashback that comes out of nowhere, hearing a particular song, or seeing someone that looks like a lost loved one.  These triggers can hit us hard because they bring us back to the acute grief when the pain was most intense.  The resurgence of such strong reactions can be scary, especially when we thought we were “over it.”  But it’s all part of grief.

This time of year we may impatiently await spring, but we can’t skip over the month of March.  We can’t erase it from the calendar.  We must get through it and experience the wide variations in weather before we get to springtime and summer.  So too with our grief. The only way to get through it is to experience it . . . to ride the ups and downs of grief.  To embrace the sun and the clouds . . . the warmth and the cold.  We hope for spring but the reality of winter hits us with every frigid day.  It’s still March, after all.  And we are still grieving, after all.  I suppose we always will be to some degree.

So how do we handle the month of March?  We keep the snow blower handy but also our gardening tools.  We oscillate between winter and spring . . . we realize we have no control over the weather.  We just accept whatever the day brings and try our best to be prepared and live through it.  It’s funny how grief mimics nature.

Does your grief seem as unpredictable as the month of March? 

Grieve Well . . . Live Well

This entry was posted in Grief and Loss and tagged on by .

About Cheryl Amari

Cheryl Amari has been an educator for the past 20 years. She has a passion for teaching and is known for her creative, informative, and engaging presentations. Cheryl has a Master’s degree in Pastoral Counseling and is Certified in Thanatology. As the founder and owner of GriefTeach, Cheryl is committed to offering unique and customized educational programs for all types of loss, as well as consulting services that help organizations better serve the bereaved, and coaching services for one-to-one support. You can contact Cheryl at or 978-457-3040.

3 thoughts on “March Sadness

  1. Thanks, Cheryl. An excellent reminder. I just shared it on my author page. Grief stays with me, not acutely, but as a longing that occasionally flares to a great sense of hurt about what I witnessed and what I miss. And the winds keep blowing.

  2. Great analogy, very poetic. I posted a similar picture on my FB page this year (my first year out of my childhood home in CT) of the crocuses peaking through the ground with snow still on the ground in the background of the shot that I took in March the previous year- when it was 60 degrees out and I was tilling the garden for the first time without her. A new beginning, but also a reminder of the past struggles. My mom would have hated this winter, and the last winter, she was probably laughing in heaven during the blizzards.

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